You're not trying to win her back right now, you're trying to lay the groundwork for that to happen later (much later probably).
LBSs really struggle with this, but just fading into the shadows is absolutely the best thing you can do right now. I call it "removing yourself from the equation." Right now all her calculations on why her life isn't perfect all point to you. Everything you try to do just reminds her of what her central theme is (that she wants you gone). There's a line Cersei used in Game of Thrones- "your very presence irritates me." This is how she feels about you right now. So you fade into the background. Eventually she'll realize she's still unhappy despite you not being around and ever-present anymore. THAT is when she (hopefully) starts working on herself.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
