I'm glad that technique might be able to help you. It is a work in progress for me, but any deliberate change requires a lot of time to implement, so don't be too hard on yourself if you feel you are occasionally regressing. I fall backwards sometimes. It [censored] but all you have to do is realize you've regressed and it stops the cycle. Then you can take a breath and start again.
I like the idea of writing letters then destroying them as a way of expressing and releasing rage.
When I was in the midst of my time right after BD I was writing furiously in a journal. I was so angry one day that I was pressing the pen so hard into the notebook that the pen broke and spilled ink everywhere. I hurled the book and let out several primal screams. I actually made myself hoarse doing this. Then I cried for half an hour.
Not sure thats the best way to handle things, but its reality and its what happened. I also felt the anger leave immediately.
A couple of notes: i made sure I was far from everyone when I would write in my journal. And I made absolute sure that W saw no evidence of this meltdown.
You will find some "may"-ish way to do this, i am sure.
