Yeah no I hear you. Like I said, leaving was my decision and my decision alone. But, I hold a lot of resentment because she just kept pushing and throwing her tantrums despite DH's therapist specifically telling her what a strain it was causing on the marriage. When I left, I felt like I was escaping a pressure cooker. There were a lot of things that contributed to that feeling: DH's constant criticism, my own feelings of not getting to pursue my own dreams and passions, and a MIL that was freaking out and trash talking me in the background. I do not want to escape responsibility for my decision. I tore the family apart when I left. But, let's be honest, most women who walk do so because something has become intolerable. Yes, the correct decision is to stay and work on it. But when someone is screaming and hollering and melting down in the background and you've tried to work it on with them, you feel like it's always going to be this way. It's stressful beyond belief.
And that's what scares me. It scares me that I got to the place where I couldn't take it anymore. I never knew that about myself. That I could be pushed to a limit like that. But I was pushed. And she did a lot of the pushing. If things were to magically resolve between me and DH, I would have to get therapy or something to figure out how to deal with her. Because I really do not want DH to cut her out. I don't.
