But I haven't sent it. It's so incredibly, incredibly hard to apologize to a woman who hurt me and my family beyond words.
Can you elaborate a bit--how did her overbearing behavior directly hurt DH and/or your kids (as opposed to your feelings) when you were married and living together as a family?
Originally Posted by Rustymom
Unreasonable demands on me
Could you have said NO?
Originally Posted by RustyMom
Then, when I left, she went over and packed up my stuff and put our a doormat with DH's name and the kids names (my name obviously omitted).
This is similar to what we advise LBSs to do--detach and move on after the WAS leaves.
Originally Posted by RustyMom
"You love those grandbabies so much?! Good job destroying their family." But, I left. She helped cause the divide (and I believe she is actively working to prevent any reconciliation), but leaving was my decision and my decision alone.
It sounds like you're struggling to accept what you are responsible for vs. what she is responsible for. It sounds like you broke up ("destroyed") the family, after she was overbearing, undermined you, and made your life miserable? Apologizing for your actions does not excuse her actions. "I'm sorry I keyed your car" can be true because keying their car was wrong--even if they walked their dog on your yard and he peed on it repeatedly. Forgiving them for walking their dog on your yard repeatedly is not the same as saying it's okay, and doesn't mean you won't invoke consequences like calling the cops when next it happens.
I'd be curious to hear more if you're willing to share.
