If you start the recording then let them know you are recording I think that covers you legally in most places. So I would just start recording holding the phone up and let her know you are recording your interactions from now on.
Do this in a calm emotional state. Do not let her emotional state effect yours.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
