I just shared a lengthy post on May's thread and I think it applies to you, too. It probably applies to every person on this earth, to be honest. It's all about detachment, self-love and finding yourself again.
I know that a lot of what we share here is journaling our thoughts and experiences of our current challenging situations, and getting support for those micro-interactions that we all struggle with. But I see a lot of focus from you on H. If he's nice, you feel good. If he's ignoring you, you feel bad.
How can you break this cycle? Where are you, dearest PLC, in all of this? Who are YOU, deep within your own self? What are you worthy of? How do you want to feel?
Someone shared a journalling practice with me that has been really helpful. Set a point in time in the future, say 2 years from now. Write in the present tense how you are feeling, what is happening around you, where you are at physically and emotionally. Are the birds singing? Is the sun shining? Does it warm your face with its glow? What are you feeling inside? Make this intention reach into the realms of what may feel impossible now. Where is your relationship at? Both with H and within yourself?
Put energy into where you WANT to be, not where you are at now.
This list (you may have to read it daily, affirm it within yourself) will help you live your way into that perfect, future moment.
The only person you can change, is you. And I have every bit of faith that you will get there.
