I would be happy to answer any questions. Since leaving, I've also made friends with a lot of other women in their late 30s and early 40s who were WAWs, so think of me as your WAW wife spy (sorry, gallows humor I suppose). Honestly, their levels of guilt and accountability run the gamut. I'm probably on the more repentant and traditional side. I never, ever thought I'd get here. Ever. I do not take this lightly.
One universal theme I hear from WAWs is that being a wife and mother is hard. Really hard. I know a lot of guys don't want to hear this, but the amount of work that goes into it and the low level of recognition women often receive from their husbands is difficult. Especially when the kids are young. Your career suffers, your dreams get put on hold, your entire identity becomes being a support system for your husband and children. You tend to lose yourself. I'm not saying that men don't suffer too. But this is the woman's perspective. We usually tell our husbands repeatedly, but they just don't hear it. Resentment builds. If there is a critical, unsupportive family, you are trying to please both the husband and the family. This leads to burn out.
I think back in the day when women went through this they just suffered in silence. Women have options now. But picking divorce is, obviously, not always the best option. When a woman leaves she's often like a wind up toy. All those years of suppressing who she is, of fitting into a mold, she is now ready to move and she often moves forward very erratically. Her actions are impetuous and irrational. She is rebelling against what she feels was years of bondage. She eventually calms down.
Again, this is not to excuse anything. At all. I recognize that a lot of men on here feel deeply, deeply hurt. I do not want to say anything to justify the actions that hurt you. I don't want to minimize your pain. It stinks and I'm sorry.
