New here-heartbroken and confused

[Ready2Change]

I had countless family meetings with my kids to get them to understand how to properly seek forgiveness.

This is a forgiveness pattern from my personal notes:

Apologize (I am sorry...)
depersonalize (place action in larger context)
shift intentions (I was trying...)
solidify commitment to change (take concrete steps to assure no repeats)
restore balance (put energy into relationship)
Example” I am very sorry I put a dent in your car. Nothing was going right that day. I didn’t want to give it to the valet because I know how much you love your car. So when I parked it myself on the street, that’s when it got hit. I’ve already called several places and got quotes. I’ll take care of it anyway you want. You can either give me the insurance information or I can give you the quotes. I am also going to have them detail the entire car so it will look like new. That’s on me. I feel so badly about this happening.”

These are the three I had my kids focus on:
Apologize (I am sorry...)
solidify commitment to change (take concrete steps to assure no repeats)
restore balance (put energy into relationship)



Even if you do not send the letter, your commitment to making the positive changes is what is important. What is even more important is forgiving MIL (Everyone for that matter).