Fierce compassion, equanimity, integrity #2

[bttrfly]

the good news is every lawyer you consulted with (keep a list) now can not represent your h, should he opt to shop for a different lawyer down the road.

something told me to consult the lawyer my husband ended up using and i really wish I had as it would have a. spiked his guns and b. forced him to find someone who perhaps would not have been so blatantly contentious/after our money. but i will say this: i learned a valuable lesson as a realtor: the type of person you are attracts the type of clients you get. In that regard she was a perfect match for my exh, what was after every red cent. so, not to fan any flames, but to say this: stay aware, be observant. lawyers do not always work for their clients - they are in the business of making money and not all are scrupulous. You have no control over how this unfolds or what the other side does or tries to do, which is the hardest thing I think. Here's the good news: there is something you DO have control over: yourself and how you conduct yourself through this.

Here's what got me through:

1. I spent a very, very long time deciding what really mattered to me and what I really wanted. That included laying out different scenarios - this path if the marriage survived, that path if it didn't. I needed to do that in order to get to the real answer which was that regardless of outcome, what was most important to me 5, 10 or 20 years down the road was that I could look back and say with all honesty that the balance of the time this unfolded I took the high road, I fought for fairness, I made the best decisions for my son's wellbeing that I could out of the miserable options I was given, and I could be proud of my conduct.

Five years out from BD doll and I got what meant the most to me: Yes, I put my son's wellbeing first and conducted myself with grace, dignity and fierce compassion most of the time (remember that exercise of finding your core values? this is exactly why you went through that, so you could apply the core values NOW).

2. Look at the worst case scenario. Stare it down. So what happens if you have to leave your home? Your pets are important to you. You were prepared to leave the state, start over somewhere else, and out of the blue, what happened? You got this job.

Cardinal, there is a lesson - you got this job out of the blue, on one interview, right? I think you said you didn't think you had the qualifications for it at the time?

My dear, the Universe is telling you something. Pay attention, please!!! You've done this once, you can and will be able to do this again, as often as you need to, either there or in another state. You're already being taken care of Cardinal, don't you see? Have faith. Trust and roll with it. In the struggle is the suffering.


In short Cardinal, this is a time of vigilance, but also a time to know that no matter what happens to you, you are going to be ok. You will get through this, and be stronger than you ever thought possible on the other side. You have no idea what the Universe has in store for you, but I guarantee it's beyond your wildest dreams. You just have to get through this first. i don't think the process of turning from a caterpillar to a butterfly is easy or pain-free for the caterpillar, but look at what emerges from the cocoon!!! You're in the cocoon. Many, many blessings.

(on a separate note, finished a bunch of work two days ago on the chicken coop/run aka the Palace as my son's gf calls it. posted it on the chicken board with photos. getting good feedback. i'm certifiable - i took my questionable sewing skills and made curtains for their nest boxes. They have a lovely terracotta thermostat, hanging bunches of herbs from the ceiling of the coop, curtains, linoleum floors, contact paper back wall ... herbs in the nest box - these girls live LARGE. wish you could see it and hang out with them. It would lower your stress level).

xoxoxo