Life keeps getting better and better (although, of course, BD is a pretty low starting point). I rarely think about saving my marriage anymore given all that has transpired. It has been 8 months now. But D day won't be arriving quite as quickly as expected. We were right on the cusp of the D when she started dragging her feet and stalling for time. I didn't see that coming. For all I know, she's still truly, madly, and deeply in love with OM and she is always wearing an engagement ring when I see her. But she stopped short of pulling the last lever. I could have put my foot on the gas, but I did not. I think she's afraid that she won't have any control if there's a D.
Also had a bit of excitement a few weeks ago. She's convinced that I'm seeing someone and is constantly looking for evidence of it. She even told me that it was wrong for me to see someone else when we're still married, that she could move back at any point, and that she would push for D if I was seeing someone else. Considering her relationship with OM and the fact that we were days out from D at that point, the reaction seemed very odd to me. But I said nothing.
I think I've made sound progress toward detachment. DBing certainly will help you save yourself and get you moving forward. And I'm grateful for the board's help in doing that. There just wasn't any chance to save my marriage after BD.
Spiral
Nice to read your update. It is all so very typical. By that I mean her checking up on you and threatening you with possible divorce if you start seeing someone else. That is just her making sure you stay put and remain her plan B. You need to remove that reassurance from her. I hope you are not reassuring her in any way, shape or form. If you are, you need to stop doing that.
You are doing very well and I congratulate you on that. GAL, keep living your life and prosper. Enjoy the new you.
