Yes I am trying to do what works but still detach. In the last few weeks I've started dropping off home cooked meals to DH and he loves this. He can't resist good food (pot roast, pot pie). I also have forgone a lot of child support etc that I could lay claim to. I told him that I'm only taking the amount I actually need. I did not marry him for money and I am showing him that I care about his wellbeing.
What isn't working is telling him how I'm improving, begging, trying to talk about the marriage, texting frequenty, etc. I end conversations first and limit discussions to the kids. I'm giving him all the space.
My divorce busters coach suggested that I invite DH to events with me and the children. But I invite him, he accepts and then backs out. He is invited to Halloween and every day he brings it up and tells me he's still thinking about it. I can't figure out if he wants me to beg or what. I told him that it was an invite and not a summons and he can come or not come, but we would love it if he was there.
