As far as your question, I believe the main rule that applies:
"Do what works"
You can take a hard look at your role in the decline of the relationship and decide how you want to behave/interact going forward. You can test some of the "Tactics" and see how he responds. Ultimately it is better to measure success by how you are behaving and less about how he is responding to you. Time and space gives both people time to work on themselves and reduce the blaming. He might not get there. You on the other hand have this support network to help you change. He will lag behind you.
Always put the "Best you" out there when interacting with him.
"What is best for my kids is best for me" Amor Fati Link to quotes: https://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2879712
