Wife did another counselling session at the weekend.
It does seem that coming out of IC she's processing stuff that the councillor has "suggested" to her that has now shifted her into thinking that the feelings that resurfaced back up while she was with the AP that where her motivation to come back where just feelings that surfaced when she saw things in the AP that she didn't like and came back to me her "safety net". Romantic heh! Despite the fact she was messaging me telling me her relationship with the AP was over for about two weeks before she left but said she couldn't leave quite yet (keeping safety net in place I suppose). It seems to have her thinking about those feelings negatively and I felt like saying did you explore the possibility that perhaps those feelings where valid and real and it is was that you saw some issues with the OM that where red flags and maybe that gave you a moment of clarity (no answer). Also councillor said when she saw OM angry it reminded her of the violence in her past and that finally spurred her decision to actually leave (she never felt like that with me!) which again has got her doubting the reasons for leaving OM and coming back.
So here we remain, it seems she really doesnt know what she wants. She says she needs time to process her feelings and sort herself before she can work on "any" relationship whatever that means (sounds to me like OM is still an option!). I don't know gut feelings man! its telling me there is still something going on with OM and honestly I am starting to wonder if this IC is real, I feel she is being lead in these "counselling sessions" without much exploration of the feelings. There seems to have been a shift again between being negative towards the marriage and and not saying much about the OM and what's happened there..
Quite honestly I have my days where I KNOW how [censored] I've been treated and it would be best that I just walked away from all of this but at the same time I also maybe I am in a better place now she is at least home and it could be that R is just round the corner (is that the old hopium).
