He said, it isn't fair for you to get so upset out of the blue about something I said. You're the one that brought up the topic in the first place. (I had, kind of.) I said, I'm not upset about something you just said. I'm upset that you had an affair and f-ed someone else. I think that is normal, for me to be upset about that. It would be weird if I didn't feel that way. He was quiet for awhile, then went and put on his wedding ring (it was off from surfing in the morning) and came and said to me he wasn't happy with how this afternoon had gone. I didn't have any response. He wasn't apologizing, that's for sure. I think he just doesn't know how to handle any of this.
I think your H needs some lessons on validating your feelings!! I think your thinking around this whole incident is great. You can see through the bs and identify what he still needs work on. I can see that it is a long road ahead for him (and you)....like you said, he needs to be okay with that discomfort. he fked up. How will he ever learn how to handle the discomfort if he keeps pouting every time it gets uncomfortable for him?
Anyways, you sound like your mind is in a good place. I'm happy for you.
