Gym is going well. I’m going about five times a week, and have also been doing a 20min abs workout at home every day for the past 15 days or so. Seeing some real progress now.
Work is fine - at home of course. Been given a small pay rise recently which was welcome. Studying is good; first exam in a fortnight. I’m passing the mock exams so far which is encouraging.
My best friend said he went to see XW as she wanted him to put up some lights and shelves in her new flat. He said somehow I got brought up in the conversation. He stuck up for me and said how well I was doing at the gym, working, more confidence, new hobbies like the YT channel etc. He said XW seemed annoyed that I’d ‘made an effort’. I wonder if she was actually annoyed because her friends and sister would’ve said things like “He’ll never change” or “He won’t take it seriously” constantly throughout S and after the D, when in fact I’ve done the complete opposite of that, without any influence from her or them.
Apparently XW started seeing someone at work. They got talking in March (our D was end of Feb!) and texted for weeks over lockdown. My friend said XW is apparently ‘unsure how she feels’ about this guy. However, he is essentially very similar to me, which is interesting (same hair, same build, plays the same instrument, similar age). Friend then suggested they go out for a bite to eat or drink as he hadn’t had time to get anything by then, but she said she was ‘tired’ - he said she didn’t look tired at all. I suspect as soon as he left she called her sister and had a thirty minute phone chat about me. Oh well! I keep thinking, it’s her loss.
Been reading up on lots of stuff too. Am recognising narcissistic traits in other people a bit more. Reading up on how to deal with it. There is a great YT channel on it too so I come to that occasionally. Another flag is someone who always prioritises their family/siblings’ opinions before their partner’s; XW did this in spades. I always felt out of the picture with her family, so whatever her sister said for example XW would just go along with, even if it inconvenienced both of us. She always feels she owes her family something and I always got the feeling she resented spending more time with my family somewhat. Shame we never talked this through in MC, as I feel it could’ve been easily resolved, but there we go. I can say that all the reading I’m doing is helping me be more empathetic in conversations and I contribute way more in a group.
Anyway, let’s get back on track. I feel life is very good. I feel very healthy. Watching what I’m eating. Getting much better sleep, around eight hours a night now. Skin and complexion looks better. I’m making more effort to dress better even if I don’t leave the house, as I have a better opinion about myself.
Haven’t done some detailing on the car for a bit, been too busy! At least it’s another thing to keep on the list when I find myself having a free weekend.
Hope everybody is well!
Wow, that is a lot about her. How is your detachment coming along?
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
