I’m going to stick with animus/anima terminology, I think it’s the most inclusive. Anima in this term being submissive/feminine, animus being dominant/masculine.
Yesterday I did a lot of research on that sexual polarity, which is something I wasn’t very familiar with. All day, I leaned into it hard; I was in my animus the whole day. Not being unkind or rude, but being direct, decisive, and taking action. And surprisingly (unsurprisingly?) she responded. The energy I got from her was one that was very willing to fall in line and be led, at least insofar as how the day was structured and how I intended to go about it. She became more apologetic and agreeable.
Today has been a bit of a different story. Part of my journey is learning to calibrate - I’ve gotten into these states before of being direct and decisive, but like a toddler on a bike I always wobble and fall over before too long. Often it’s because I swing too hard toward decisive and end up cold or dismissive - since decisive is not my natural state, I quickly fall into a caricature, then I get nervous and buckle.
Right now I’m a bundle of nerves and I’ve swung back to fearful for my marriage, as well as deep loneliness. It really is a rollercoaster and I’m trying to figure out how to straighten it out so I have more control.
Ultimately I want to be able to maintain decisiveness without veering into dominance
