Walk Away Spouse Fits My Ex-Wife to a "T" - part 2

[Ready2Change]

I'm OK on the outside, people think I'm doing well, but on the inside I'm still a bit of a mess.

I still have dreams at night that this is all a dream, by the way.

Both definitely normal. Takes time to process everything.

Working hard to fill my day. Trying to make new friends because all my old friends were married to my ex's best friends, and she's been talking trash about me to these girlfriends.

It is interesting how friends "pick sides". I intentionally went out to make new friends "outside" my current circles. If you have time check out Shawn Ryan on Youtube. He was a navy seal and has an interesting presentation on friends. It makes sense.

Upset with myself that after 32 years I turned out to be an unfit husband./quote]You lasted longer than most. That doesn't sound like unfit to me. Somehow we missed the memo that we need to keep focused on our personal growth during the marriage. Living with someone else is crazy hard.

[quote][The worst is yet to come, I fear, as we approach the end of the divorce process. It'll get me down, especially the final signing of the papers. That's just the kind of sensitive guy I am.

There is another guy buried down inside you. He is the one that needs to be projected out during this. It is kinda Yin-yang thing. You want your wife to see a complete different you. Confident and excited about the future.

But I'm slowly coming to terms with the principles of DB. I've been commenting on other posts and it really helps me congeal the concepts in my own mind when I get to talk with others.

I have always said "helping others, helps me". Pretty easy for me to know how to respond IRL when I have thought about how others should respond.

Best way to help is keep engaging with me (and staying patient if I backslide)

Always helpfully to remind us of this from time to time as well as when you decide you need a different kind of help.