I am interested in the animus/anima dynamic, for certain. I will be researching it.
I don’t immediately have concerns with the masculine/feminine energy terminology, but I can see how it’s confusing, misleading, or outdated. Particularly in cases like your Valeska, where the same energies can exhibit regardless of gender. I think you’re right that they’re more akin to integrity/boundary roles.
Whatever the terminology, my wife was basically the consummate beta all her life, always suppressing her desires for those around her to the point of being impossible to pull an actual opinion out of. Me, a stuck egalitarian Nice Guy, becoming increasingly frustrated over the years, because “im not going to enforce my will, WHERE DO YIU WANT TO GO FOR DINNER for christ sake?” But since childbirth, she’s been an out-of-control, f*ck everyone, f*ck you for trying to help, angry monster, and my reaction has been to become frazzled, depressed, and stressed beyond belief like a triage nurse on their tenth cup of coffee.
Regardless, she went out of control and I was not TAKING control. The right terms will come as I pursue them. I am finding one of the only common threads in my list of “things that work and things that don’t” is that, when I put my foot down and live my life (I’m taking off for a while/my family is coming for dinner, you can be here or leave), the more she settles down in her “it’s everyone else’s fault” rage bubble and starts to resemble a human.
The hardest part for me, honestly? Being that ON all the time. Outwardly, I’m trying to be the one Taking The Lead. Inwardly I’m like... WTF am I doing?
Again - I am speaking from the hip and it’s starting to feel good. Not combing my responses for clarity. Go me.
