I had a long and serious discussion with D20. All the activities they did were done together. No gf. Only quality time with his daughter so no filtration would need to take place. Freedom of speech.
Ex-h shared alot of memories he has of his time with us as a family. D20 also shared her favorite which was : going sliding as a group with uncles and aunts ( my side and also the ones present at the wedding). He had forgotten about that day and admited we all had alot of fun. He loves and misses them. He really was part of a bigger family than just the 6 of us. He shared memories of my mother and how welcoming she was and how happy she seemed to be everytime she saw him. He said: " it wasn' t all bad, there was alot of good times and wonderful memories.
Sadly, because of how he treat people, they tried to see his daughter( from a teen relationship he had prior to us). She did not answer the door.( common behavior ). Later, they met a lady who asked him if he had seen his grand-daughter. He said: no, they did not open the door. She replied: " you should be proud of her. She got rewarded at school for her accomplishments. .....
They were on there way back and suddenly, ex-h turned around and went back to see his GD. This time, they opened up but grand daughter had no interest in seeing him and daughter made small talk and sent him on his way.
I asked D20 which mood he was in. Was he happy, sad, depress, numb, angry? She said he was ok.
I told her i shared his words on the forum and as Job mentiond, it might have been to get a reaction from her or he might be depressed. She said, i don' t think so. He seem in a good place with me. D20:" we went hunting. and as always, he was all about safety. Guns locked, shell separate. Always pointed to the ground, me staying behind him, wearing orange from head to toe. Lol ". He did a moose called and got an answer from a buck. The moowe did not come out. It seem to tell us this was his territory but running in the area and hitting his antlers on trees. It was loud and scary." Me: " OMG! i' m sooo happy you got to experience this with him. When you guys were younger, every fall, he would take us out for a ride in the bush, in hope we would all hear how intimidating a moose his when they approach ourt of the forest. But we never did. To have YOU there at that very moment was, i am sure, a moment of pure happiness for your dad!. This makes me very happy aswell! "
The next morning, they went pardridge hunting. He let D20 take a shot. She got it. The only one they have and it is sitting in my freezer.
In her opinion, he ' ll be ok.
I said: " well, you understand my concerns. You have the same concerns. ( how it feels? ). Out of the 4 of you, communication speaking, you are his outlet. Please be vigilent and do not hesitate to tell me if he says things like this again."
She said: " that' s the thing. He can' t talk like this. He does not think when he says things. He does not care how it will be perceived until it gets him in confrontation."
