WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

ovrrnbw,

It's normal to want to analyze and understand a problem. I would not focus on it very much unless you are truly gaining some ground there. I would also make it a point to manage your body and emotions through this situation. Don't think about your sitch after 9 pm, don't drink socially if you are going to be upset and call her, etc. From a lot of info I've read and heard, exercise is the best way to stifle depression and be happy. Do it every day.

I was doing really well in terms of diet and exercise but that's fallen off a bit. I've been focusing so much on being there for the kids in additional to my side of our "50/50" agreement, but agree additional focus on my own fitness and a regular exercise routine is needed.

Want to know how to gain respect? Be a man of your word, set strong boundaries, work hard and do what's right. If you have ever seen R2C post his links to confidence, attraction, respect, etc those would be good to read every day. Don't focus on things you can't control and certainly don't let those things bother you. For example, don't worry that you told your parents. Getting help when you need it is smart bc you have to take care of yourself. Did it do what Steve said too? Yes, but you didn't do it for her so no biggie IMO.

I've read R2C's posts but a refresher wouldn't hurt. I was already a man of my word who works hard and does what's right, but there's always room for improvement. I do feel like I needed to bring in my family, especially during COVID when there was very little GAL outlet, so it is what it is - maybe it'll hurt R chances but at this point I doubt very much R is a possibility let alone whether I'd want it.

So what now? Go back to your core, figure out who you really are and who you really want to be. Pour your heart into that. Be a dad, a man, explore new hobbies, and make the most of this time you have. The "Gift of Time" saying meant little to me when I first came here but now I do see it differently. There's a silver lining here, and there is so much wisdom telling you to turn this into a positive, if you indeed want to be happy. Take a step, then another. That's how big changes happen. It won't be comfortable. I remember Cadet ( I think) telling me that most people don't make positive changes until the pain of changing is less than the pain of staying the same. It really shows us how at odds we are with ourselves and our goals. You have to use your higher mind to over come your basic desires. That's morality in a nutshell. If doing the right thing was easier and fun it all the time then it wouldn't be so significant. Be smart and make those changes, control your emotions and do the right thing. I wish you well.

Good thoughts, and thanks for the well wishes ovrrnbw. I'm working on it!