Confused but committed, Part 2

[SteveLW]

Hoch, went back and read your entire threads. And I see you still struggling now with what you struggled with way back at the beginning:

"She is being nice! She wants to stay!" "Oh no, she is being mean and/or ignoring me, she is going to D!"

NGS. Over attachment. It runs the entire gamut.

First, it tells me that you are doing GAL very poorly. All of this interaction, temp-checking, basing your MR status on her current behavior, and believing a word she says, shows that you are still way overly attached. Your emotions are a ball attached to a paddle by a rubberband....and she is the paddle. Until you detach from that rubberband you will continue to let her bounce you up and down.

I told another poster this story just the other day. But the two days after BD for me in 2017, my W was the nicest, most loving and affectionate she'd been in years. Of course this caused me to dive head first into an R talk. Guess what, despite how nice, loving and affectionate she'd been, verbally she was still intent on her plan to get a job, get an apartment and to get a D. This is why you cannot try to measure the state of your MR on day-to-day interactions. These things are like the stock market. Day-to-day fluctuation are meaningless. Trend over time is the key.

Regarding that, I saw one post where you suggested that one bad day had undone 5 months of "progress". That isn't even logical! This shows how tightly affixed to that rubberband you are.

Hoch, trust the process. Keep on DBing. Certainly have an end date in mind where you will no longer wait. Or pull the plug and move on with your life.