WAW w/Exit Affair or WW? - Don't Want Divorce (2)

[BL42]

Yeah man I hate to say it, only because I hope my W will change her mind but a friend of mine who has been a psychologist, therapist and mental health nurse practioner for 30 years told me today that

"I quit doing therapy because only around 10% of people change, you spend years on them and they go back to doing the same things over and over"

In a way that gives me a slight bit of hope since my W has essentially "left me" about 5 times and come back every time. But then again Ill have to play my cards perfect and not give her an easy recon this time even if she does come back. because that 10% of people that get remarried MWD said sounds a lot like that 10% of people that actually change so not a whole lot, don't need her WAW/WW attitude coming back the second I GAL and finally heal from this mess and I'll bet that is what will happen, always has. At least this time I can see my NGS and change myself! I hope that's enough to create happiness either way. But the point is that true lasting change only comes when people hit that rock-bottom soul shifting consequence of what they have done. I stopped drinking so much when I got a DUI, that's all it took for me, went from getting hammered every day to stuff issues down to having a beer like twice a month took 1 day to change my life and hard truth. This divorce will do the same thing.

As a former alcoholic myself, you're playing with fire with by still having a beer or two a month. That is what your friend was talking about. Any time you ou put a drink to your lips you're in danger of over indulging. You're doing yourself if you think you control your drinking without completely stopping and resolving to never drink again.

The bottom line is that most people do not change because they don't want to.

Just to be clear, this isn't related to my sitch at all - there is no alcohol factor involved. I do not have a drinking problem, nor does my W.