Hi Tom, Paid dating apps do some filtering for you. E.g., eHarmony doesn't allow married people. As you know, divorces take time, since you're 13 months separated but not divorced yet. I found about 1 in 10 first dates had enough ex baggage they brought up their ex's. That was an acceptable rate for me. A friend required anyone she met to have been divorced for at least one year because she had a lower tolerance for dealing with baggage. She'd taken a year off, and wanted others to have put the same effort in.
I mean to say, having a good dating experience has less to do with expecting others to be DBrs, and more to do with setting and maintaining standards as to whom you're willing to date.
Ah. Very thoughtful. I like it. I believe in the "trust but verify" approach, at least looking ahead, but I also like the notion of having a clear standard. Bravo to you for trying dating apps but I haven't thought for even a moment about starting that way!
But I do have one question. Don't all divorcees have to eventually talk about their exes? Whether it was 10 years or 30, that relationship had a huge influence on their life, and who they are today! So would it be better to say what you're looking for is whether they have settled feelings about their ex and their former marriage? Because I find it hard to believe that it wouldn't be a topic of conversation. Certainly, for me at least, if the relationship was to get serious I would WANT to know if there was serious baggage or woundedness, and that could only come about by discussing that prior marriage.
