I’m not saying you cannot have a stronger marriage after an affair. What I am saying is you cannot if there is no remorse. If there is no remorse then you are dealing with a narcissist/sociopath or they just really don’t give a $hit. Either way you’re screwed. Often the LBS are so fearful and desperate that they try to talk themselves into anything to justify their actions. So let’s throw a bunch a $hit at the wall and see what sticks. I read where George Glass says affairs are great for marriages. It’s like WTF seriously?
Fact my good buddy’s W had an affair 17 years ago and it was swept under the rug. Still haunts him today and he never got over it. He’s ding her when his son turns 18. That’s really what happens when there are affairs. It destroys families.
I agree that there should be a degree of remorse but a lot of the material gives the expectation that it should be instant where as I think many find that it can come over time when the Stitch does the required work. That's where I am, I let my Stitch back without having any idea what I was doing (my fault) and right now I am in a situation where I need to let some time go by to see how things play out. It may well get to the point that I say this isn't enough for me and I decide to move forward by myself.
