Which makes me want to cry and makes me question everything... I know I can lead the way to a better R with H by taking it all on the chin, by continuing to be the bigger person and include him in everything.
Nope. You cannot lead the way by taking it on the chin. You lead the way by standing, and standing up, for you.
It is up to H if he follows or not.
You cannot “nice” him back. He needs to feel what he will loose, and has lost.
Good for you telling him we’re not friends - my friends don’t do what you did. A few truth darts here and there do hit their mark, and they hurt - his choice, his consequences.
You have shown much kindness and compassion in this exchange with H. Sometimes the most compassionate thing you can do is be honest and truthful; with good honourable intent at the root of things.
Asking if you’re a monster shows you are not. Monsters don’t question.
You are doing the right thing. Keep moving forward. Focus on you and your kids.
You’ve got this Sage.
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
