Hoch, I honestly don't think you being creative, charming man has ANYTHING to do with strength and confidence. I work in the entertainment business so I see creative men all the time. It's about how you carry yourself, what you believe about yourself, how you show others you want to be treated, and so on and so on.
I think a good place to start is not to try and get your wife to see your value... but for YOU to see it. Honestly - that's the only way it will stick for good is if you see yourself as valuable. You have done a H3ll of a job with everything you go going on. Special Needs kids requires a level of love and strength that not all humans possess. I hope you can see it that. ((Hoch)). Alot of us on the board do!
As for your anxiety - I too have it. I work through it in IC, but I also listen to books and am starting to journal about it. It's not thing to be ashamed of. I'm no therapist but I am being told that the more I allow space for the emotions I am truly feeling - the more my anxiety will lessen.... because its an effect of feeling great fear, anger, etc.
Be kind to yourself. I don't think it's fair for any spouse to find their spouse less "attractive" because of a disorder. But perhaps that's just my personal boundary...
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
