New to the club

[Rita]

I agree with DnJ in spirit but in practice, DnJ's experience versus mine is a good lesson for ya. DnJ's W filed and did it all so quickly that she wasn't able to try to destroy him and gave up her right to everything. If you have read my story, you can see an alternative outcome to letting the other side do a lot of heavy lifting, at least if she really does file. My H waited five years to file, and has spent the last two years trying to destroy me, all things far worse than anything he had done as a regular MLC guy.

My advice is to be ready to get the D done as quickly as possible, if she files, and every time you are tempted to think that getting a D has anything to do with your standing,remind yourself of the different outcomes of my story and DnJ's. The D is only a business deal, and the MLCer is a terrible business partner. So, if she files, try to get it done as quickly as you can so you can have business out of the way and can focus on real standing, if you want to stand. Otherwise you risk getting sucked into a horror show like mine, which went so far south that I had to give up the idea of standing because my dude became so scary that I could not ever put my life in his hands again. I have many friends in the standing world who got a D quickly and their marriages were restored. Then there are a bunch of us who stood for years and kept the faith, and then the marriage was not restored.

It hurts like hello, believe me, I know. But her filing is just like her popping pills or getting drunk or having an OM or anything else she is trying to fix the pain. It won't work. But it will affect your finances and your peace. So get it done fast and then start standing if you want to stand!