It's common for a WW to turn to her LBH to rescue her, when things get too tough or her fantasy with OM doesn't work out like she thought it would. She knew what to say, in order to go back home. Maybe she meant it at the time, IDK. But at some point, it started becoming a bit too much.
This is whats happened, after my wife moved in with the AP (couple of days) she started texting me ILY and saying that she’d made a big mistake, the relationship was dead with AP. I said to her then you need to end this and come home but she was resisting with the excuse that she couldn’t leave him with the rented apartment and that her name was on the lease and that she would look a fool, she said she’d need to stay a few months and then she would end it so it didn’t “look as bad”. She seemed more interested in saving face more than anything and I said to her that this is all kinds of wrong and that she just needs to end it as this is not fair on everyone involved. Oh man reading this back it’s crazy I feel such a fool as I think I’m just a Plan B.
Anyway something then happened between her and AP where’s he’d done something that frightened her and she called me a few days later (although we’d been texting back and forth in between that time ILY and marriage will be better etc) and she said that it was over between her and AP and she wanted me to bring her home and she leaves while AP is out. She phones and then texts him it’s over. Number blocked contact record deleted.
She comes home and it’s all the right words like I should have worked on our marriage and she’s saying ILY and sorry and she is such an idiot. She can’t believe she’s gone against everything she believes in and she’s let everyone down, she is cuddling and kissing and a couple weeks later we’re back in the bedroom (this was two and a half months ago).
About a week ago I notice she’s deleted the texts from that time from my phone.
Then she tells me yesterday she’s been speaking to a counsellor and she’s been going over things and that’s why things have changed as it’s stirring up a lot of things especially in her childhood as her father was violent with her. She tells me what happened with AP and councillor said perhaps she saw her Dad in that moment. The idiot I am I ask her and now do you think you where hasty in running out (WTF why would I ask that? I’m already as insecure as [censored]) and she says maybe but it’s made her think how messed up she is right now. I asked her do you want to be with me and she says right now I don’t know what I want but I do want to work on us and how she needs some her time as well.
Right now she just seems to lack any empathy or appreciation of what all of this has done and is doing to me. She said again there has been no contact with AP but that she does feel she is grieving the loss of that relationship and she is taking to her counsellors about it.
Reading back it’s no wonder my head is so messed up and that I think it’s all a big deception.
