I do think the treats were a bit of an apology, a somewhat acknowledgement that he did wrong. Even if it is mostly subconscious to H.
His path is mostly about how he feels. The last few days of you not reacting like you used to, may have given him some pause. Dare I think, maybe even a feeling of “hey, PLC didn’t deserve to be treated that way”. However, that will be short lived, as feelings are. So don’t get your expectations up on him being better next time. Or worse. Or the same. Ah, the path of zero expectations.
With the ice once again broken, remain kind and cordial. Thanking him for the cookies and scones was a good thing to do. It was common courtesy, acknowledged his actions, and responded kindly to his greeting. A fine example to demonstrate. He was watching, make no mistake, he watches you. And he may even follow your lead.
Good begets good. It’s the timeframe we get hung up on. Be patient.
Reflecting upon this latest event, and your 180 of not being confrontational. How do you feel? What do think of this “you”? Better, worse? Would you like non-reaction, letting go, to be more your default?
Originally Posted by PLC
he knows that I would have gotten angry and reacted in a bad manner. By being silent that is not the old me.
Originally Posted by PLC
I will be friendly. Keep him surprised. He expects naggy PLC. Nope. She's not here.
We discover our beliefs, our values, our defaults, ones that we may not even realize. We have the amazing opportunity to strengthen ones we like, and alter or discard ones we don’t.
It takes time to reinforce feelings and thoughts into a belief, a value.
Yes, naggy PLC wasn’t here. She might pop up now and again; remember these feelings and thoughts, control your actions and reactions, and eventually it becomes second nature, it becomes a belief.
I absolutely believe in you and your abilities. What do you believe?
D
Feelings are fleeting. Be better, not bitter. Love the person, forgive the sin.
