I think because of all of the crap during this process I've started to wonder if my wife is intentionally distancing herself so that I will make the decision to just give up. Sometimes it feels like her actions are just intentional rather than part of a process. I mean I know she may be going through some things of her own but so am I but that doesn't stop me asking how she is or doing something nice for her.
My wife and I used to text back and forth throughout the day, now she just goes to work and I hear nothing from her at all day unless I reach out to her (had your lunch? etc). I ask her how work is going and she never asks about me or how my work is. Is very frustrating.
This is a common mistake LBS make. On BD the WAS says "I want less of you", and your reaction is to try to give her more of you.
So what used to happen? That is not the reality now. What I am telling you is that you reaching out "had your lunch?" is pressure and pursuit. #1 rule of DBing is remove all pressure and pursuit. WASs are like a cat. If you reach for the cat they will run away. If you sit quietly and make no sudden moves, the cat might come to you of their own accord and jump into your lap.
I am noticing some NGS tendencies. You might want to look into the book No More Mr. Nice Guy.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
