KG, my divorce was amicable, so I hope anything I have to say is helpful. It wasn't the same as your situation of course, so please take with a grain of salt.
Post-discussion: you do whatever you want. There is no "should". You live your life as normally as you can while still moving forward steadily.
*When you initiate the conversation do NO get drawn into an R talk. Sure, WW may be all over the map and not know what she wants and that can be valid. But you DO know what you want and that is just as valid. It's okay to remind her of this to keep her on track. "I understand it's a lot, but I do know this is the direction that I will be moving in".
*Be conscious of your needs vs wants. Don't cave to her to make it all "go away" but also don't hold on to things you really don't care much about. I think it's a big one for you to determine if you do or do not WANT the house. You seem ambivalent towards it. Will you feel stuck with it if you buy her out, or will it not bother you? It seems the best case is she can buy you out, because then she gets something very important to her and you can leave clean-slate.
*Instead of offering for her to buy you out, see what her first thoughts are. "Regarding the house, what are you wanting to do moving forward?" If she says she wants to buy you out that's great. But because it's her idea it will put her more at ease that she's getting something that she wants and you are amicable. This approach might calm the dragon. If she offers something you can't give, say so. "No, continuing to share living space and splitting costs won't work for me. I can't do this anymore. It will have to be only one of us or neither of us owning the house".
*Speaking of the house - you don't help her with this, and you don't get in her way. You don't do her legal or finance work. But, if you were to say, "If you would like to talk to ______(I dunno, someone at her bank)_____ let's give you the time to do that. What timeframe do you think is fair for that?"
*I would suggest not starting off with a timeline for her - not in the first convo. See where she takes it, and respond from there. You can be vague. "I'd like to have some of these decisions set as soon as reasonable".
*Immediate future: Can she rent from you? If you decide you'd like to leave the premise, can you have her pay the entire mortgage (not buying you out - yet) and have this in some kind of post-nup? Be sure it's all buttoned up legally. I rented from my XW for close to a year, and it worked well for us because she had moved out of state. She gave me a few months where she continued to pay as she did when we lived together - I think three months. She gave me warning and an agreement, "I don't want to be paying for this house forever, but I want you to have the time you need. I'll pay up until ____ and after that you pay the mortgage for staying here. I'd like to have it on the market by _______. Does that work?". It did.
*Do you have a place you can go and/or apartment options?
*Personal items: When you get to this point, I used Google Sheets and it worked great. Had a "want" "Might consider" and "don't want" columns. Each of us could access and enter furniture items we wanted or didn't want. Google Sheets allowed us each to easily access and we could see when changes were made. I found it a no-pressure way to get initial offers on the table. Anything that you both "want" is then negotiated.
