I agree with you entirely. Each time a D discussion has come up and I've stood my ground, she gets incredibly angry and emotional. I have informally spoken to a lawyer and I know that the best possible outcome is for us to figure out a peaceful resolution to the house. That is really the only major asset we own together. Everything else (debt, bank accounts, etc) don't amount to an excess. I don't think she would really want to hire an attorney to help with things because of the expense and partly because I have always handled any legal and all paperwork endeavors.
If you guys have any advice on how to start the convo with WW and initiate some form of peaceable negotiations that would be fantastic.
Right now, we live together mostly peacefully and (on the surface) treat each other as spouses. I am still trying to detach, but I'm having a hard time breaking off my wifely duties so to speak. I cook meals for us both and am still thoughtful and treat her as I always have. I have definitely gotten better about not initiating any form of touch or intimacy, but I don't push her away when she wants to cuddle either.
I'm nervous about the aftershock of this convo and what will happen to the dynamic in the home post discussion. Should I prepare to come home from work and spend my time in my bedroom and avoid her? Should I sit in the awkward tension of the living situation post discussion? I guess my wheels are just spinning because I know this is the right decision for me, but it is still so hard. I also hate that I'm having to be the one to pull the trigger.
My goals of the D discussion are to try and map out what we will do with the house and the living situation in the interim. I would love for her to get the house and buy me out. Do I offer to help her with this or tell her she has X days to apply for a refinance? I think it would be very difficult for her to be able to obtain financing. I could easily afford the house and would be approved. We could sell the house and split proceeds (after a huge tax) but it would put a strain on her mom as she still has an entire storage shed and a TON of things still in the house and on the property. Her mom wouldn't have anywhere to put these things at the moment. I would of course give her mom ample time to move them as opposed to a third party forcing her out immediately.
So many questions running through my head today and I'm just trying to prepare for what is to come.
KG
LBW 32 - me WW 31 T 7 M 4 No Kids 4 dogs
Separated 1y Navigating the mine field and GAL with or without
