She sent me one hand-written letter the day after I was served, explaining things, but it was a rambling letter and actually confused matters, because in one part she said she needed to divorce me but in the other part she said "we need to do this for now" which I assumed meant that our marriage still had hope.
Hi Tom, look at her actions, she served you with divorce papers. When I left my ex-wife, I also said "for now". It softened the blow to her of leaving after 10yrs and made her more cooperative.
Originally Posted by tom_h
Was that her attorney, saying "he might use anything you say against you in front of the judge"?
I doubt it. Never had an attorney tell me this, nor did my ex-wife or any girlfriend previously divorced. They did instruct me not to discuss divorce matters with her such as financials, custody, etc.
Originally Posted by tom_h
We met twice during the next 2.5 weeks. Then, she cut off all contact and basically refused to talk about anything directly, using her attorney instead.
Maybe cutting contact makes it easier for her to heal and move on? Maybe she didn't enjoy those two meetings? These are common reasons. I'm not her, though, so they're just guesses.
Originally Posted by tom_h
Was she afraid that if she talked to me, she would lose the will to move ahead with the divorce?
After finding the strength to stay until the kids were in college and then leave--I doubt she views herself as weak in any way, shape, or form. BD1 was when the sex ended. She said she didn't enjoy being talked over, not helping out in the home, and general grumpiness. (You have a list of complaints, too. Most failed marriages are a two-person job!) She stayed another 10yrs. That doesn't sound weak. She's probably not trying to hurt you, she's probably not evil, she's probably just trying to find her happy.
