And we keep moving on.

[Irish M]

Hi Everyone

I often think of your ex and DNJ’s in a slightly different category - drugs and/or some serious mental illness, beyond ordinary MLC. My ex had his concussions but also I see clearly now, he had narcissistic issues from the start.

I agree they are extreme. I see it as a higher level of MLC. Not sure if I could of handled it if she was more involved with the kids. Not seeing her destroy her life is a godsend for the girls.

XW sounds like she did, and has, for the past years. So very little progress for her.D

I think she has progressed . More and more regret in her messages. Seems to be every few weeks and not only a yearly event.

I think she was look for pity and maybe an offer of funding to help w/the place that they are living in. She is still out there in space. It's okay for her to admit she's not doing as well as she should be, but she sure doesn't want you to say anything to her about it.

you are dead on. Was a cry for pity. She is still the victim, as you will read in my update below. Scary times for her.

Now, on to the rest of your life mon ami !!!
xoxo
P.S. Hope mom and dad are well!

my mom and dad are doing good, they made it through the first phase of covid, we are starting the 2nd wave and they are playing it safe. My mom has a heart condition and 79 so we have her in a bubble. Was sad not seeing them for thanksgiving. My turkey was not as good as hers.[/quote]

You were such a tank through it all.

Tank with fatigued armour and wear and tear. But still rollling.

so to update my situation. Thanks giving weekend just past. Mostly all households are in isolation as the covid virus is taken off. Was it the opening of schools with no masks or just a result of a summer that was full of backyard parties.

XW did reach out. At some point in the conversation I felt like she needed to just empty some old held in feelings.
the text messages started with her wishing me a good thanksgiving. I replied thanks .

I presume she was expecting more than just a thanks but that was all that i could give.

Irish, i really mean it. You deserve a great thanksgiving with the girls.


Hi XW, thanks i really mean that too. have great weekend and happy thanksgiving.

Irish, i miss the girls. Working from home now because of covid I at least don't have to pretend. I put on the happy face at work. I don't sleep and some days don't eat.
I never thought I'd be in this position. You probably don't care so i won't take up your time.

XW, I can only imagine what is going on with you. I do understand the happy face mask. we all use it sometimes

a few hours past and I tought that was it. Just before supper i get the long one.

Irish, I use it all the time. But I am tired of hiding. No one knows how i feel. I have lost all trust in people and I won't show them how I really am feeling. I am a pro at hiding it but it is just so painful. I need to keep myself busy to keep my mind from spinning. I hid it from you in the end because i was tired of asking to talk. I felt i couldnt share my feelings with you. And i never felt like i was part of the family. The girls are Irish. I felt like you all were against me.
My friends I lost took your side and weren't listening to what I was saying. They twisted it to please you.
Besides you never accepted me . I wish we got better help to talk maybe then you would know me better and accept me. I had so much pain and it was going to push me to end my life if I stuck around. I had to leave . I needed to feel. I felt nothing with you 3. I know now that i can't expect anyone to love me. I need to love myself, that is all that matters. I'll stop now. I feel such negative energy here now. I need to ground myself. Have a happy thanksgiving Irish.


I don't know what to reply on that. I can say that I am sorry for your pain. Believe me when i say this , you meant a lot to us 3. We were a strong 4. It's true we didn't talk much in the last year because you avoided it all. I would raise a concern and you would down play it. You'd say goodnight and the next day wake up like nothing is wrong. Well it hit us hard. We would argue and I'd push to talk and get the wall you put up. There was nothing I could do to help you. I do hope you are talking to someone. Someone that can guide you better than I did. If you need to ask me anyting that can help you, let me know. take care .

Not sure how she can say we didnt talk and it was I who avoided. I'd sit at the foot of the bed asking to talk and I'd get the no reply, need to be up early reply. I look back and she avoided discussions all our life together. Wasn't one to face anything.

With that the weekend ended and no more communication. She is clearly in a dark place. Depression is a horrible thing. The wearing of their masks is a reminder to us all. We might think and see our MLCr happy but deep down they can't look at themselves in the mirror, they can't face what they have done and they are very unhappy.

Not what I expected from a thanksgiving weekend. The girls are not aware of this exchange. Not sure I will share it. They are adults now, 18 and 20. I figure they will have their own discussions with their mom. Hopefully XW doesn't do something stupid. She clearly needs better help. Something I can't do. All I can do is listen.


stay safe everyone.

Irish