A, If you are truly having suicidal thoughts then you should seek the help of a professional immediately.
Yes I've engaged a therapist on a monthly basis to tide me thru this situation. I'm not going to let the suicide thoughts take over me. I have a lot of things that I can about apart from my marriage that I can't bear to lose.
Originally Posted by LH19
It's gonna take a really long time for your W to hit rock bottom. My ex is in about year 7 of her crisis/change in personality. Her relationship with the kids is bad. They were both crying on the last exchange that they don't like being with her anymore. And it was her birthday! It's sad for my kids but also very predictable. All these situations run on the same script. You have to minimize the damage for your children.
The key is to use the pain to become a better person and the rest will work itself out.
7 years is freaking long! I don't think i have the stomach to wait that long but who knows? Prior to me meeting my W I was enjoying singlehood to the fullest. And then she came along, got pregnant and I had to step up to be a responsible father and husband. It wasn't a bed of roses, I own 50% of the fault that led to this stage but I was never a violent person. No physical abuse took place; only those common cold wars and screaming when the kids got out of hand. It seems my W isn't that forgiving in that department.
Remember, every sitch is different. My W went from "I don't want to be married anymore" to full blown Ring and piecing in about 3 months. I'd say that LH's ex is on the extreme side of length, and my W is on the other end of the extreme spectrum. The point is that it is a MARATHON not a sprint. So buckle in for a long ride. I like to tell LBSs to have a set date of when YOU will take action. Being someone's backup plan and waiting for them for a long period of time is not a fun place to be. I was giving my W one year to work through her stuff, and if she still hadn't moved one direction or the other by then I was going to go file for D myself. The open ended nature of limbo is not a fun place to live long-term.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
