The key is to use the pain to become a better person and the rest will work itself out.
And to be that rock for your children - they WILL need you - As LH says, they all follow a similar script - and unfortunetly in most cases, the WW not only turns out to be a bad relationship / wife choice, but a poor mother as well.. Hence you need to step up - This will give you something to focus on !
Yes LH, I NEED TO BE THE ROCK. Not that Dwayne Johnson rock (it will be cool though).
She was a good mother prior to this shiitshow; albeit a little bit on the anxious-parenting style type though. She took good care of them and they were the centre of her universe. I used to get jealous because our sex life dwindle because of it and she made me feel that I was never good enough for her.
I am thinking that her moving out is the last straw for me but after reading other sitches here, it might not be the case. Her moving out might kick start her rock bottom because in my "rosy glass" perspective, she was very comfortable with a lot of things. She never had to worry about finances because I was working my ass off to provide and I tried to get her everything she needs. Prior to me marrying her I helped her clear off her CC debts where her mindless spending racked up to 40K++ with her ex BF (we got together after they broke up but the debt remained). I was constantly helping her around the house but I do fumbled at times and I was rather impatient. It's those tiny accumulation of resentment coupled with lack of communication that resulted in this sitch blown out of proportion.
This is a huge lesson for me. I've made poor choices and I'm owning up and cleaning up my act for myself. I like where I am now but there's still a lot more for me to improve on. Now i just need to bite the bullet and let the emotions flow thru me. I need to pivot my thoughts to the notion that separation isn't the end yet. It's tough man.
M(36), W(36), D(6), D(4) M-7, T-8 Bomb Drop - Nov 28, 2019 W requested separation - Sep 30, 2020
