Need advice on stubborn W

[BL42]

AKuei,

I have D6 and D4. I'm sure they will have a lot of questions why mommy isn't home tonight later.
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True enough, my kids were asking me where's mommy when they got back home. I just said, "Mommy's out with her friends."
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And yes I agree with you that I'm still in denial because I still can't wrap my head around why my W can bear to just drop the kids and live her own fantasy. The kids were her world before she turned into another person. I can't understand the fact that she doesn't realise her trailblazing actions are leaving behind a trail of destruction to her loved ones.

AKuei,

Let me ask you this... Would your old wife not want to wake up with her children on her birthday - to have them jump on your best and say Happy Birthday mum etc..

I suspect she would have loved it..

Heres the thing..The wife you knew is gone.. and to a degree ( certainly in my sitch ) the mother to your kids you knew is gone as well..

Replaced by somebody who's actions are pure selfish.. Hence she no longer cares if she wakes up in the house with her kids..

You cant change her or her actions. I suspect these actions will upset the children, so just be there for them.. Prepare for the worst ( divorce ) and plan for being the best father you can be.. Let her enjoy the car crash decissions she makes .

The old W will definitely like to wake up on her birthday morning with the kids greeting her, go for a good meal and have a fabulous cake. She told me me before that a birthday is a must no matter what.

Unfortunately this whole thread of comments regarding the WW's attitude towards the kids and her decisions without regards to the impact on them is not uncommon. In your case it's her birthday, in my case 5 months ago it was Mother's Day. She went away for the weekend to be by herself and had to console my S5 while he looked out the window, tearing up and crying, saying "I just want to spend time with Mommy on Mother's Day." He was so excited to give her cards and presents, and she didn't care at all to be around. Maybe it was because she hated me for whatever reason and not because she didn't love the kids, but either way S5 was crying on my shoulders because his mom wasn't there on Mother's Day.

And two weeks ago my S5 cried out "I want mommy! I want mommy!" for 45 minutes, eventually crying himself to sleep while I hugged him and tried to console him.

I don't know if it's because W is completely oblivious to the pain she is causing, or just doesn't care. Either way it [censored] and I'm sorry you're going through it as well. All we can do is be there for our kids and help them through it as much as possible. Hang in there.