A day at a time

[Pommy99]

May, well done on managing your anger and not venting at H. I do like the bit from you earlier post about dumping all over H and realizing that he's not equipped to manage your emotions as well as his own. I think they do carry a burden of guilt, shame, fear, and perhaps H channeling his energies into a reno project is a way to counter-balance the negative energies he is dealing with. It also reminded me of something you wrote on my thread a few weeks ago:

If I put myself in his shoes, I could imagine feeling a lot of pain knowing how much pain he's already caused you and continues to by not snapping back into a passionate H... but conversely, I could also imagine the utter relief if I felt like my W was OK with where we were, taking it day by day, secure and confident in who she is and that this will all work out in the end.

I think it's natural to feel that anger inside, but the way you have handled it without spewing over H is brilliant. That's not to say he's off the hook, and getting away with it. But it sounds like you have identified a way to move yourself forward without needing to always loop back to the A and the past. That's progress! Of course it's to be expected that it might not always happen this way (that you can redirect your anger away from H). But being able to identify the triggers and take action to mitigate the impending explosion is fab!! x