Originally Posted by Pax_luv
if you’re willing to go to these lengths... when will it end?? When I’m dead? When you destroy me in some other capacity?

I’m being serious. I think my story evolved way beyond MLC several years ago...


Yes, totally. You and me. Pax, it's so odd how similar our stories ended up being.

My in-laws also turned on me, though they would never offer documentation like yours. I almost found that more hurtful than my H's betrayal! How could my MIL give up 20 years of our family history and the ability to see her grandchildren?! (She won't see me and my S won't see her if she won't see me, though I offered.)

All the MLC stuff I was able to bear/accept/forgive/make peace with. But the stuff that happened during the divorce process, which started in year 5 of MLC, that stuff is what got me scared. It wasn't just that he wasn't like the man I married or that he didn't see things clearly or thought wrongly of me or our history. It was that he seemed to want me dead and that he was willing to do all kinds of crazy unethical stuff to ensure that I lost everything and/or was punished. Now I fear for my D11. I don't know what he is capable of anymore. He was abused in every way and I know that can often get passed to the next generation.

Recently I was talking to my stepfather and he told me that he and my mom always thought my H treated me poorly and didn't truly love me and that he gaslighted me. I mean long before the MLC began.

The problem is that my mom was diagnosed with her own cluster disorders and definitely had an MLC and was always accusing my dad of gaslighting her! She was totally crazy and very terrible to us in many ways and my stepdad doesn't realize maybe how deep that went. I think growing up in that household is my big wound that led me to think that what I had with my H was how all relationships were. But I do wish my mom was still here -- because I wish I could be kind to her now that I am more able to be, and because I wish I could hear more about what she thought she saw. (She died in 2016, and oh how awful it was to have my MLCer go with us on the trip to the funeral.)

It's hard to know the truth. I do always think that our love for our H's could have been the healing balm for them and us both. They chose to reject it. But it could have gone either way, and I don't regret any of my stand.

Last edited by Gerda; 10/12/20 02:03 AM.
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