Thanks everyone. Just got a text from her. Looking for advice and wanted to run sich by everyone. She asked if I had any plans for thanksgiving tomorrow. I am suspecting she wants invite me for supper with her and the kids. What should I do?
My two cents -- say yes immediately yet don't go over with expectations of a lovey-dovey family. Watch her moves. Plan out in advance the conversation topics you will have, with her and the kids, and be knowledgeable about them. You will look interesting to her.
Dress well, put on aftershave if such is your practice, and be stronger than she remembers you to be. If she starts giving you compliments, keep to the DB principles while being personal. For example, she says, "Tim, you look and smell really nice today." Reply, "Thanks, honey, there are a lot of important people to me in this room and they're worth it." That's it! Don't say, I still love you or anything like that.
You might want to ask her in reply if there's anything you can bring over or make in advance, to take the burden off of her. It doesn't matter if you buy it, at least you took some of her cooking burden away.
Finally, be a great listener to what she says and affirm what she says. When she tells a story about work or a friend, ask her how she felt about it, and hang onto every word. This is where men always, always fail.
Some of Sandi's DB rules to not forget:
Be cheerful, strong, outgoing and attractive at all times! I'm guessing here, but you might have been the type to be self-deprecating in the past, as a way to show humility. No more of that if true. Don't be arrogant, but don't put yourself down.
Show self-respect and self confidence.
When communicating, focus on what the spouse is saying and needing and feeling, not about you.
Do not ask your spouse if she has noticed your changes,
Only show your spouse happiness and contentment, don't be negative especially about those things (e.g., politics) that you used to be negative about. Never be nasty, angry or cold.
Make your wife think that you have had an awakening, that's why you are dressing well and looking good.
When you leave, a hug and sweet kiss on the cheek are fine. Don't ask her about next time, because that puts pressure on her. Just make sure she remembers how wonderful a dinner it was with you because that guarantees a next time.
