WAW - Give me that. What are you doing? You had no right to look at that!
M - I'm sorry. I just couldn't do this anymore. I had to know. I had my suspicions, but had to know for sure. I didnt mean to invade your privacy like this. I just had to know.
WAW - Know what? Nothing is going on like I told you.
M - Please Babe just tell me the truth. I deserve the truth. I have been in such pain these last few months.
WAW - Well Im sorry to disappoint you.
M - Oh really. Ok then what are those messages from XXX then?
WAW - What do u mean? Nothings going on.
M - Come on. How long have you guys been together. Do u love her?
WAW - No. I dont love her. I'm just screwed up.
M - Well thank you for finally telling me the truth. And you are not screwed up. I guess I drove you to this. I'm sorry I was such a bad husband.
WAW - Its not you its me. Im just screwed up.
M - Well. I want you to know that I'm going to keep this between me and you. No one needs to know. It can be our little secret. (except for all my friends on Db.com ;))
WAW - Why would you do that? You told everyone before. my family your family when I wanted the sep.
M - That was then. I am a different person now. I was devasted at first. You were wanting to walk away from everything. Me our family our life. I over reacted at first. I just really miss being your friend. And I know with your new business that this wouldnt be good if it came out.
WAW - Why would you not want to tell everybody?
M - I have learned during this time that some things are just out of my hands. Before I thought I had control of my life. Of our lives. I learned that I never did. It was one big illusion. I realize that you would have done whatever you wanted regardless of what I wanted. Like I said before I am glad this happened. I am thankful that you did this so I could go through this and learn about myself and what to become a stronger, better me. I have really changed over these last few months and I want to thank you for that.
WAW - Ok. if you say so.
M - Well. I just wanted to thank you again for being strong enough to tell me the truth. It was very difficult not knowing what was going on. I knew something was going on and that there was someone else. But Im glad it wasnt XXX. He being your coworker would have really hurt since you have been telling me that it was strickly a business relationship. So I am here for you if you need to talk.
WAW - Well ok. thanks.
Then I left for work. Nice way to start the day huh?
thanks - BM07
For whatever it's worth -- I want to applaud you on your maturity in handling that situation. No one got angry, and not once did you mention betrayal, infidelity, blame, or doing something "wrong." You also did what many therapists recommend in a tough situation like that, you "went to your gut" and apologized for having driven her to that behavior, even if it wasn't totally true. You saved the moment and didn't turn it into an angry confrontation.
I say this because I wish I was able to do that myself!
