I am having a tough emotional day today. Sitting here with tears in my eyes at the moment. I want all the things she is telling me that she cannot give. If she looks at me one more time and tells me ILYBIANILWYA, I think I will lose it. I really do need to get off this ride. Looking to go away next weekend to visit my BF out of state. Then I seriously need to consider buying that plane ticket. I sincerely think it would be best.
The getaways sound nice. Even buying that plane ticket home. Self Care is so important in this time. And I know the doubts you have around being around your family versus staying home.
But the ugly truth is that regardless of your decision - the holidays will most likely hurt so choosing the decision that makes YOU feel the most supported during the difficult time will be crucial. It may feel contradictory to what your heart wants... but your heart will thank you.
My 1st year in BD - I went home back east for 5 weeks. It was my first holiday away from my XW. I cried a bunch but I was so thankful that my sister was there each time. Looking back now (almost 10 years later) I really cherish that time spent with my family. I'm huge into holidays and being with them helped that part of me survive my BD/D.
If you sincerely think going home is the best for you - Then Do It! It will be hard, but you will get through it.
((Mar))
M(f): 40 D'ed: 8/12
Show empathy when there's pain. Show grace when warranted. Kindness in the midst of anger. Faith in the face of fear.
