I wanted to chime in to help. I believe the ladies here have given you excellent advice and in a much softer and well rounded way than I can communicate. What I wanted to mention and reinforce is the kisses, ILYs, hugs or anything along those lines. You are reinforcing her bad behavior with great rewards. Neither of you somewhere in your hearts want that right now.
It sounds like you have been having relationship chats with her. If she's initiating by all means listen and validate her feelings. If a boundary is crossed such as talking about OW, you can tell her you won't have those discussions and if she brings it up, you can remove yourself from the discussion.
If I could roll back the clock, I would listen to the advice I received dozens of times and stopped initiating any form of R chat. Its for both of you. The things you hear can haunt you, produce PTSD and rip away any confidence you have regenerated.
It's hard, it feels impossible and yet you are able to get through this rough patch. In regards to the ILYB's. She felt differently about you before, even married you. These are her current feelings and are not set in stone.
H37, W37 D4, S2 ILYBNILWY 9/19 BD 9/19 EA discovered 10/19 Currently in limbo, no D or S process initiated
