Yes, I have that thought about that before. To be honest, one of my biggest fears. But like I said there is no proof at this point. I really do think that wants to work on things down the road and I feel that she wouldn't want to jeopardize the chance of recon down the road with dating around. Just my personal feeling but again, who knows
My first sitch in 2005 my W reconnected with a Jr. High boyfriend. She thought he was the hottest thing since fire. When I discovered the EA, that was certainly headed for a PA, she immediately said she didn't want a D. She sent him a cease and desist letter, that she shared with me. However, I thought that since she wanted to work on the marriage that her EA was over.
Short story: It wasn't.
Longer story: She was saying and doing all the right things to me....but she was secretly pining for her crush, hoping he'd fight for her, hoping he'd ignore the cease and desist letter. When he didn't, she started to email him song lyrics from songs she was listening to that reminded her of him. Finally about 5 weeks in she emailed him to say she still thought about him and hoped he thought about her. He responded, and said he did think about her a lot but didn't want to cause trouble for her. (This was a lie, I had threatened to tell his W, he didn't want to cause trouble for himself.)
When I found out I finally dropped the rope completely. Told her she was free to do whatever she wanted and based on that I would make my decision about the MR. I was a different guy 6 weeks in than the guy I had been. I had discovered MWD and DBing. And I wasn't going to try to control her, or hold her against her will. But she also knew that from that point forward her choices had consequences. And the one in front of her was that I was not going sit idly by and watch her pretend to want to commit to the marriage, and still keep her little crush on the side.
The point for you is......STOP believing everything she says. Stop trying to mind read her. Stop thinking you know because you knew her so well before. The girl you married is gone. Maybe forever. You are NOT dealing with the person you knew, despite what the denial in your brain is telling you.
Last edited by Steve85; 10/09/2005:55 PM.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
