[sandi2]

And Sandi2, I’m not a wimpy guy but I feel as though my values get held against me because I don’t push back. My number one value in my life is family. Family, begins with marriage in my mind. Up there with my number one is my Christian faith, where marriage is sacred. I also believe that my kids are better off in a household with us together, and that their kids will be better off (this presumes we get this on the right track).

Not sure what you mean by "push back". If you mean arguing with her, that doesn't accomplish very much. The problem is that your WW doesn't agree or share the same values. Maybe she did at one time, but now she is rebelling, so she's not going to quietly submit. You can tell her you love her and don't want a divorce 24/7.........but it will not change her mind. So.......then what do you do?

In the conversation I told her that I still had hope, that I would still love her, and that I would work with her on the divorce. I told her that marriage takes two and divorce takes one and if she had made her decision, we could move forward with it.

Scott, as former WW, I plead with you to stop taking this route where you basically roll over and repeat all this stuff to her. Your words fall on deaf ears. If anything, you are convincing her to move forward with divorce. Why? B/c she doesn't care how you feel. She gets angry when you tell her you still have hope. She is only concerned about her own feelings. It's time for you to apply a little tough love. Do you even know where your personal boundaries lie in your relationship? What do you do when she disrespects you? Tell her how much you love her?

She was furious that I had not given up. She continues to say how she has given me 5 years and how I'm not going to stop her this time. I tried to tell her that I'm not stopping her at all and that I am simply willing to work on our marriage if she wants to.

Let's start here. You've told her how you feel. No need to repeat it. It's only going to make her heart harden more. So, whenever she starts her spill on getting a divorce, yada--yada, just let her talk. If she starts screaming, cussing, etc., walk away. She's not going to respect you as a man, if you don't respect yourself. That's how she sees you when you are telling her how you love her and want to work on the M.

I know my wife is afraid of staying in the marriage because she thinks it is setting a bad example for the kids (she thinks its a loveless marriage that can't be fixed), she doesn't like the fact it has become sexless and I'm thinking she believes it will always be that way, and she doesn't feel supported.

Here's the truth........she has lost her sexual attraction for you, and she is terrified of being trapped in a relationship where she has no "in-love" feelings. When a woman loses respect for her H, it kills the attraction. In order for her to get the in-love feelings back, she has to respect the man she sees in you.

It would seem that she is working on overcoming those fears with her coach so that she can move forward.

The same coach who encouraged the program to divorce with compassion?

She said to me "I need to do this for me. Its not about the kids or anyone else, this is what I want for me."

Listen to what she said here, b/c it's the closest thing to the truth you'll get from her. It's all about her!