I am struggling a lot today. Just as I suspected, he ended up back at her apartment last night. Despite all his "I'm definitely never going back". Yeah right. He has told me over and over that he has been so close to begging me to take him back over the last few weeks. Today he still does not know what he is doing. Said they talked a lot last night about how to fix the issues they had in their relationship but they aren't back together for sure. He is thinking about giving them another try since he already invested so much into it. He asked me for a week before I file papers because he doesn't know what he wants.
I feel like I took 20 steps back in the last 2 days. I told him I am 1 signature away from sending the papers, that I have a lawyer ready. I stupidly got my hopes up that things could work. and now I am sitting here thinking "okay if I DB like hell for the next week, maybe things will work." UGH. I dont know whether I should feel relieved that he is taking his time making a decision on what HE wants. But I may have screwed up by acting like I care.
How do I get back on track? I was finally getting to a place where I was accepting the situation a little. I felt almost good about myself. I know I cannot stop him no matter what he decides to do. I know it shouldnt bother me that he went back over there last night because he has been there for months. What's one more night? I need to back off for the next week for sure.
