Wife dropped off the kids last night for an overnight. This is the first time she has seen my new apartment since I was asked to move out August 1. The visit was hot and cold. She stated she was feeling overwhelmed with everything. Specifically about a few things with the lawyer and the new house. She said she is exhausted and is needing a break. She broke down at one point and I validated and provided empathy. She didn't mention the R but I suspect it is on her mind. She was also asking me questions about what I am doing with my time. I just said I have been meeting with friends, working out and reading alot. Anyways, I am wondering if I should try to help out a little bit more with the kids. Maybe take them a few extra days to give her a break? Or am I being too much of a nice guy? Not sure what I should do. I read somewhere online that I should try to help out in a way that makes her life better. Or are they totally off here?
Also, day off today so I am meeting two friends today, going to do some personal growth reading and hopefully work on my music. Something that I haven't touched since the bomb
If you want to spend more time with your kids, then yes, tell her you want extra days. DO NOT DO IT FOR HER. DO NOT TELL HER YOU ARE DOING IT TO GIVE HER A BREAK OR TO HELP HER OUT.
Right now it is not your job to rescue her. She fired you as her H. Do not let her cake eat (IE, let her not treat you like a H but she gets all the benefits of you being her H).
You listen to her and validate. That is it, do not try to help, fix, rescue, etc.
Have you read No More Mr. Nice Guy?
Don't remember if there is an OM or a suspected A, but lots of LBSs in your situation end up with the kids while their WS is out living the single life with their AP. Do your part, be the best father you can be, but do not try to fix her problems or enable her to live a single life since she is technically still married, and a mother to boot.
M(53), W(54),D(19) M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017 Ring and Piecing since March 2018
