Thinking of you. Is your H back from his work trip? I was reading through my journals from the fall and remembering how awful it was to know that H was likely with his AP, even though he was lying about it at the time. I remember him not answering the phone also, and taking a really long time to respond to texts about things like our daughter scoring a goal at her soccer game-- things I knew he'd have responded to immediately if he was alone or with work colleagues, at least a text if he couldn't answer the phone. It was awful. I know our sitches are different and you have a lot more to process right now than I did at the time-- so I am just wanting to send you hugs, I know a bit of how you feel and it is awful. You deserve every speck of anger and grief and resentment and disgust and everything else that is fighting for oxygen inside of you. It's OK. You are still an amazing, good and optimistic and beautiful person inside and out who is simply and justifiably angry.
How are the kids, your dog? How are YOU? I wanted to pop in and see how you were doing. You are always so generous and kind and empathetic when you post on my thread and others-- I always feel such a rush of relief and friendship when I see you've posted something on my thread. I want you to know how much I appreciate you and that I'm here for you, too-- so vent, sister, vomit up all the anger you need and I'll hold your hair and get you a glass of water.
xx May
Me (46) H (42) M:14 T:18, D9 & D11 4/19 - 12/19: series of escalating BDs 9/20 - present: R and piecing
