If I had a dime for every LBS that thought one last heartfelt discussion would fix everything, I'd be retired and traveling fulltime for hunting seasons around the world!

So NKZ, you said you felt better afterwards. But why? Because you got a temporary stay on the splitting of the finances? Do you think that helps your sitch? Or is it a façade that makes you feel better temporarily? Or do you see that you just delayed the inevitable and now you will have to deal with that anxiety all over again some time in the future?

Your W seems to have a pretty good head on her shoulders. Asking if you are in IC. Your post screams to me of someone that desperately needs IC. You came to the board, got advice, then promptly ignore the advice and started an R talk where you repeated the mistakes that newbies usually make before finding this site. You admit that it made you look weak. Let me ask you a question. WHen your W hung up do you think she thought: "Wow, I am making a mistake. NKZ is the type of man that only a fool would leave!" or do you think she instead thought: "Wow, boy am I glad I am leaving that man to start a new life."

My guess? It was the latter rather than the former. I do not say that to hurt you. But you made two mistakes. First, not consulting the board before the phone call. Second, actually making the phone-call. Impulsiveness will set you back every time.

So where is your GAL? 180s and self-improvements? Detachment? I do not see any progress on those.

As far as the nesting, I am glad that is changing. I am not an advocate of nesting. I am an advocate of the WAS leaving the home and the LBS staying in the home, since the WAS is the one that wants to separate. Nesting NEVER works. So while I do not like how you got out of the nesting (she basically pitied you), at least it is coming to an end.

Remember, if you have any chance of Ring you have to start commanding respect. Be a boss! Be someone that respects himself. Your W will never be attracted back to you until she respects you. And tearful pleading phonecalls that reiterate what she already knows (you don't want this) isn't how you command respect.

M(53), W(54),D(19)
M-23, T-25 Bomb Drop - Dec.23, 2017
Ring and Piecing since March 2018