I wish i read your post earlier. I have to say SORRY to everyone.
A LOT has happened.
I have had the worst week, I got to a really bad/dark place in my mind, very negative/jealous/immature and finally broke.
I know after reading posts and listening to advice i was going pretty well.
while i was in this dark place i rang my W.......we were about to go to the bank to finalize the finances.
I started off by saying to my W i need to talk and to let her know how i'm feeling and that she didn't need to say anything but i need to tell her. (i know weak)
I cried and said that i am not coping with the sitch and that everything is getting on top of me. - our sitch - Finalizing finances - Living sitch
She did ask if i was seeing IC, which i am not but have an appointment on Tuesday next week.
I told her i still love her and that i am not giving up on us and our MR, I asked questions i shouldn't have "how are you" "are you having an EA/PA" she said she wasn't but i know not to necessarily believe her. She said that she was happy with her decision to walk away.
we spoke about our living sitch, currently we co parent our S in our family home and alternate co-parenting week on week off. she goes to her parents and i have to find somewhere to live every other week as i don't have any family in my city. After discussing this she agreed to me staying in the family home and that she will have to co-parent our S at her parents house. She said "how am i going to take him to daycare/preschool?" i sarcastically said by car (not appropriate i know) but i think she finally realized that this separation wasn't going to be as easy as she first thought.
She was not happy when we finished the call asking "is there was anything else" twice.
I was relieved after the call, it answered a few questions but i am sure it has put our reconciliation back or may have even killed it. But we have put off seperating our finances and selling the family home. Before now i have been giving my W almost everything she wanted in this seperation, now i am thinking more about myself, my mental health and our S.
I have started GAL going to the gym, spending some QT with my S and getting back into reading.
I spoke with some very close mutual friends/couple last night and we spoke candidly, they know the sitch and were surprised with what is happening and believe she would not be having a PA. they did however bring up her mental health (bi polar/MLC) i did not bring this up.
i was told that my W and our friends (2 Ws) met for coffee two weeks ago (unbeknownst to me) and she said that my W was very different/strange.
She also said that one of our friends whom my W is close but not as close as the other W received a text from my W thanking her for her friendship and that she is a wonderful friend, however my W friend (friends for over 15 years) did not get a text or even a thank you for coffee.
Does this sound like anyone else's WAW/WAS/MLC?
I am now thinking a lot better of myself and am happy i am going to be getting more help from IC.
Keep posting, your support and guidance is much appreciated.
